If there are types of “sharing” when it comes to people, there would probably be those who “overshare”, those who are “reserved”, and of course, those who fall somewhere in the middle. I’ve had a tendency to be the overshare type with others for practically as long as I could talk, and it’s definitely gotten me into trouble… especially since I often don’t remember later!
The not remembering later has nothing to do with having a tendency to overshare … but it does contribute to the trouble, because how embarrassing is it to say something you shouldn’t – read: very personal – and not remember it in the next conversation with the person?
Adapting as an Overshare Type
To establish boundaries with myself and others (words seem to fall out of my mouth sometimes), I had to learn to read other people. In a recent conversation, I shared something overly personal, only to realize that it was an overshare (too late). But by seeing the other person’s reaction and reading their body language, I knew it was time to redirect the conversation and change the tone of the afternoon. Although this did not prevent the initial oversharing, it did help me keep from continuing on the same path.
Want to read more about boundaries? Boundary Issues (With 8 Signs You’re The Problem) is a great place to start.
Another way for someone who is adept at sharing too much information to adapt is to use a journal. I love the website 750words, and use it semi-regularly (not an affiliate, just love it).
Prayer is usually considered a safe method of sharing, and not only does it have great relationship building potential, but it eliminates the risk of people using your words against you later.
You Don’t Have to Embrace It
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You can love yourself and still work on yourself – in fact, I’d argue that’s an important part of self love. Loving yourself enough to change. You don’t have to embrace that you are of the “overshare” type and that’s who you will always be. If you want to change, chances are decent that you can.
There is literature out there about changing how your brain works, as well as books on habits (such as Atomic Habits, highly recommend) to help you re-learn things in a different way. Just because things have always been a certain way doesn’t mean they have to stay that way.
Practice, experiment, and most of all – learn about and believe in yourself. You’ve got this.
Are you an oversharing type or more reserved? Let me know in the comments below.
Christian, wife, “hybrid” mama, I run the site All Behind A Smile to help others like me.
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