Are you tired of staring into a mirror at yourself, reciting affirmations until your eyes bug out – all for little to no results and feeling like a fraud the whole time? When you learn how to use affirmations in an authentic way, there’s no reason to feel like the endeavor is useless.. and you might be surprised how it naturally impacts your mindset.
When I first learned about affirmations, the entire process felt like “mumbo jumbo”. Say these words and somehow – some way – you and your life will improve. Yeah, right. Sounds a bit too much like manifestation to me – and you can read what potential risks lurk there (especially for those of us with a mental illness) over at Is Manifestation a Slippery Slope? But. I digress.
Affirmations VS Manifestation
Let’s initially tackle the concern that affirmations are just a fancy way of “manifesting” what you want/need/desire in life. With my misunderstanding (a few years back) of affirmations, there didn’t seem to be much difference between the two… but I know recognize that there is a world of difference.
In simple terms, affirmations are generally a positive or encouraging declaration to oneself about who you are or will be which can help transform your mindset.
Manifestation or manifesting, on the other hand, is more directed outward (usually toward the universe) to help one attain what they desire. Usually referred to as “attraction” or “attracting” good things from the universe to oneself, by way of channeling one’s energies and focus into what they are looking for.
By these cobbled together definitions, the clearest differences between the two (from what I can tell) are that affirmations are focused on inward change, and on changing yourself from your mind out. Manifestation is more focused on outward change, and on bringing what you desire to yourself.
What You *Probably* Learned about Using Affirmations
Now that we’ve broken down perceptions and noted the differences between manifestation and affirmations, it’s time to learn how to use affirmations authentically.
Remember that affirmations are a focus on changing the way your thoughts process or the way your mind is “wired” – NOT a magic wand you wave and make things happen with a few sentences.
With that being said..
I was taught (like many of us probably were) to use affirmations by writing down who we want to be, then looking to a mirror, and reciting those words and phrases to ourselves over and over, every day.
Let’s NOT.
How to use affirmations in an authentic way has nothing to do with pointless, empty repetition and everything to do with working WITH our brains to change the way they think.
How to Use Affirmations Authentically
Start by deciphering how your brain works (which is much simpler than it sounds).
Are you primarily someone who learns by experience/doing, or someone who learns through seeing/hearing?
Personally, I have to experience whatever my education is on, or it will not stick.
With that in mind… your brain knows if you don’t believe what you are saying – which is why the “traditional” method of practicing affirmations often doesn’t work. When you state goals or “affirmations” as if they already are true (i.e. I am consistent) your brain knows that isn’t who you are (yet).
Instead, try this.
Forget the mirror. Forget “practicing” on a schedule (unless you like it that way?). Every time a thought pops into your head that isn’t aligned with who you want to become, change it to a positive thought about learning to become that way.
For instance, if a thought pops into my head:
I’m not consistent (thought) -> (becomes) -> I’m learning to be consistent (positive affirmation)
This affirmation (“I’m learning to be consistent”) is aligned with reality (so my brain doesn’t automatically deny it as it would if I said “I am consistent” when it isn’t true) and will help transform my thoughts (and thus, my outward behavior) from the inside out.
It can be a struggle to figure out how to use affirmations in a way that works, but I have found that if I am honest and aligned with myself and my beliefs the results are typically better.
Do you use affirmations? Do you use a “traditional” method, or something else? Let me know in the comments below!
Christian, wife, “hybrid” mama, I run the site All Behind A Smile to help others like me.
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