Making Family Gatherings Less Overwhelming

Family gatherings tend to be overwhelming, especially if you have a mental illness and especially in this pandemic era. This is true regardless of whether you are meeting physically or virtually – sometimes family time is too much!

So no matter in what form you are meeting this year, here are a few tips to make the gathering less overwhelming.

Tips for Less Overwhelming Physical Gatherings:

Physical gatherings are challenging, and even more so this year.. but they don’t have to be overwhelming! Here are a few tips:

Delegate!! If food needs to be brought, give each person/group a dish to bring. This lessens the stress on the host or hostess, both financially and in trying to prepare everything.
Clean in advance. If you are the host or hostess, clean everything you can beforehand, and try to keep up with it in the coming days so it doesn’t get out of hand (again). It’s easy to let things (like dishes) fall by the wayside, and then have a last minute scramble to clean up the mess.
Invite fewer people. It’s hard to exclude the ones you love, but you could always have a virtual gathering with them later, so they can still be involved. This helps lessen the risk, too!
If you are NOT the host/hostess, plan an “escape” if necessary for your mental health/sanity. This could be as simple as “I’ve got to go”, but be careful not to give too many details – nosy family members could argue your excuse, which is the last thing you need. If you ARE the host/hostess, invite someone to help you host – so if you need to disappear for five or ten minutes to take a break, you can.

Tips for Virtual Family Gatherings:

Virtual gatherings are probably going to be popular this year – not only does it mean you can log off from the gathering at the click of a button, but you aren’t risking exposure and can maintain social distancing.

Even with that being said, however, virtual gatherings can be stressful – if you have obnoxious or rude family, they are still going to be present, and you’re still going to have to answer questions that probably shouldn’t have been asked in the first place.

So, here’s some tips:

Have a pre-planned excuse in case you need to log off for your mental health/sanity. Don’t provide too many details or your excuse could be debated! If it comes down to it, just say you have to go. You don’t have to explain yourself!
If on Zoom, use a Zoom background so you don’t have to worry about what family/friends might see behind you (I’m looking at you, messy house!).
If you are “hosting” the virtual gathering, plan a game or two that can be played to keep the party going! If you aren’t the host or hostess, consider conversation starters ahead of time, so there’s less awkward pausing and more talk.