Sadly, it’s all too easy to shame mothers, because we are far too busy shaming and doubting ourselves to notice the important work that is happening within our homes and lives. A Christian perspective on mom guilt may not be hard to come by; but what might be more difficult to come by is one that offers a message of mercy and grace in addition to honesty and truth.
Jesus invited the little children to come to Him, with a message that the kingdom of God belonged to them (Luke 18:16). With that in mind, children can be a blessing to those who are called to motherhood. Someone needs to raise and train them (Proverbs 22:6), which we tend to associate with the calling of motherhood (although I believe fathers are also an important part of this work).
A Quick Note on Fathers
In 1 Thessalonians, Paul even equates the work of the Christians in Thessalonica to a father “with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging… to live lives worthy of God” (1 Thessalonians 2:11). Mothers are not the only parent that’s important (even though they are our focus in this article).
A Christian Perspective on Mom Guilt
Although I don’t know who first stated the phrase, “God doesn’t call the equipped, He equips the called”, it seems more than appropriate for this stage of my life right now. Despite believing I was called to motherhood, I do not feel equipped (and the mom guilt is often through the roof with a strong-willed toddler on my hands).
But then, I remember that Moses (a great leader in the Old Testament) was “slow of speech and tongue” (Exodus 4:10), and yet, when Moses used this as an excuse with the Lord, the Bible says that “the LORD’S anger burned against Moses” (Exodus 4:14).
In 2 Corinthians, Paul is struggling with a “thorn”; yet when he pleads with the LORD for it to be taken from him, the response is that “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9).
Some argue (as I have in the past) that this “thorn” was mental illness of some kind. I have come to believe this thorn was intentionally unexplained to allow us to relate to Paul’s weakness instead of focusing on his problem. The problem (the thorn) wasn’t the focus, although we are so easily distracted by it.
Regardless of whether the thorn was mental illness, however, I DO have an in-depth article (much like this one) about Demonic Activity versus Mental Illness. The link opens in a new tab for reading at your leisure.
Key Reminder
If I were to be perfect, I would have no need of God. Yet with my imperfections, God can use me and work through me.
2 Timothy 2:20-21 has a beautiful illustration of the articles of “gold and silver” and “wood and clay” in a large house; some for “special purposes and some for common use”. These articles (in my understanding) are a picture of those who set themselves aside for the works of God.
Takeaways
We can let guilt drag us down, or we can listen to the voice of our heavenly Father.
Despite not always feeling equipped, the heart lies to us about ourselves and our situations (Jeremiah 17:9). We know we are “more valuable” than the birds (who “do not sow or reap”) and are fed (Matthew 6:26), and chapter six of Matthew continues after that point to reassure Christian readers.
For some reason, our society encourages self-doubt and shame (especially on mothers). All you have to do is peek at social media (especially the comments of news articles or other popular postings) to see hurtful/targeted comments dragging people down. Some of it is “trolls”, but behind nearly every troll comment on the screen there is a person who is hurting in some way and/or hurting others due to their own personal pain.
A Christian perspective on mom guilt: discard it. Leave it behind. What society tries to bind us with (using ourselves as a weapon against us) is not the lens God sees us through.
“God created mankind in his own image” (Genesis 1:27). It continues, “God saw all that he had made, and it was very good” (Genesis 1:31). Yes, there was the fall of man. But with the ability to destroy mankind over and over (whenever he chose or chooses), God continually chooses a relationship instead (Micah 6:8). There were even those (Enoch and Elijah, Genesis 5:24, 2 Kings 2:11) who did not see death because they grew so close with God.
Final Reminder
A Christian perspective on mom guilt tells us that God will help us through motherhood (as challenging as it may be sometimes), using our weakness as a reminder to us to rely on HIM and HIS STRENGTH. I needed that reminder this week, and need it frequently.
Are you struggling with mom guilt today? How are you coping with it? Let me know in the comments below!
Christian, wife, “hybrid” mama, I run the site All Behind A Smile to help others like me.
[…] for more Biblical support on other topics? Tackling A Christian Perspective on Mom Guilt wasn’t easy, but it does offer a message of mercy and grace – with a healthy dose of […]