Despite being full of many wonderful things, becoming a mother is a time of upheaval. A time when everything changes, and one must “rediscover” who they want to be, because very little is the same after motherhood.
One lesson learned very strongly from my own upbringing, is that you should make time for yourself along the journey of being a mom…. because if you don’t, when the nest is empty, you’re lost. Floundering, trying to figure out “what’s next”?
That’s something this post aims to help with.
Avoiding the floundering, and making sure you are caring for your own needs along the motherhood way.
DON’T Wait Until the Nest is Empty
To be clear, “after motherhood” simply refers to the time after you become a mom, whether that’s days, weeks, or even years. DON’T wait until the nest is empty to rediscover who you want to be… you don’t want look back with regrets about not having cared for your own needs along the way.
Having hobbies, friends, and activities you enjoy will eventually help the transition to empty nester… so it’s smart to work on developing those things now, instead of wondering “what’s next”? when the kids are gone.
After Motherhood Doesn’t Have to Start on Day One
If you are a new mom, don’t panic! After motherhood doesn’t have to start the same day (or week!) you have a new baby. It’s a slow, gradual process. It doesn’t even have to start when your kids are toddlers… as long as you START.
Benefits to Starting Sooner
Did you know there are benefits to you caring for yourself that go beyond your wants and needs?
For instance, if you get your kid(s) accustomed to you sitting down with a good book to read, they will be more likely to be readers (based on your influence) but also learn to respect mommy’s quiet time and play (hopefully nicely) by themselves or with a sibling. It also helps them learn that mommy won’t always be right there – she may be nearby, but they can learn some autonomy if mommy isn’t solving every problem for them.
Of course, choose age appropriate distance (if your kid(s) are very young, you would probably want to read your book close by) and interaction. Solve problems if really necessary, but otherwise let them work on their problem solving skills. You can still offer gentle hints and suggestions, instead of jumping in and doing it for them, if needed.
TL;DR
There are benefits beyond self care that come from a mom finding hobbies, activities she enjoys, and friends after motherhood – but that doesn’t have to start immediately, as long as she STARTS!
Need a hobby idea to get you started? Cooking and baking are excellent skills that can benefit your whole family! This hidden veggie mac and cheese is a personal favorite side dish… that while it takes a bit more effort than traditional mac and cheese, is definitely heathier but still yummy!!
Christian, wife, “hybrid” mama, I run the site All Behind A Smile to help others like me.
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