If you are reading this article, you are likely already recognizing distracted parenting… but you might not have noticed (yet) that it can come in more shapes and sizes than just smartphone use.
Although we are focusing on the use of smartphones, distracted parenting can look like being glued to the television (even if you think you are paying attention to your child) down the less obvious distractions, like reading a book, newspaper, or even a magazine.
Essentially, anything that keeps you from fully parenting and paying attention to your child is a distraction, which is NOT always a bad thing – and does NOT always include a screen.
Have newfound time when you are attentively watching your child? Try an EASY Trim Healthy Mama friendly recipe with no added sugar that you and your child could make together (with adult help and supervision). These THM crossover banana nut muffins are refined sugar free, both dairy and grain free, and kid friendly… you could even give them to your toddler if you left the nuts out. (Crossovers are great for growing children.)
A younger child could mash the banana and pour in pre-measured ingredients to help, maybe even help stir the batter.
Recognizing Distracted Parenting: The Signs
It’s sad to admit. Embarrassing, even.
I am a distracted parent.
It’s the honest truth.
My toddler (not even two yet) can not only recognize my phone (there is an identical phone with a different case belonging to someone else in the house) but will bring it to me when I’m not using it. He will even point to my phone if it’s sitting beside me (not in use) tell me, “phone”, and point to me.
For me, these are major signs that there needs to be change. Other signs could include lack of memory about the time “spent” with your child or your child spending excessive time with a screen or distraction themselves (as the old saying goes, “monkey see, monkey do”). Although this is by no means an exhaustive list, it’s a starting place to realize that change needs to happen.
An Easy Way to Create Change
Once you are at the stage of recognizing distracted parenting, and decide to change, I have a simple, easy solution. Do NOT keep your phone on you (unless you are expecting an important call/message that you have to respond to immediately – the exception not the rule – or you are out and about).
Having to get up to go get your phone (after recognizing distracted parenting, this is a common source of the problem) creates an extra step, and makes you THINK about what you are doing, instead of mindlessly picking up your phone and scrolling (as we are apt to do).
In the case of books, or non-screen distractions, consider setting a timer when you pick up whatever is taking your time from your child. This could also work for television… because everyone knows “just one show” easily multiplies.
Can I Not Browse Social Media or Read Anymore?
This change does NOT mean no phones, no social media, no books, or whatever the case may be. This change (to after recognizing distracted parenting) is simply to create awareness within yourself of your actions and how frequently you go to get your phone or other device (or distraction) while spending time with your child.
All too often I find myself justifying a “little” social media because my toddler is busy playing by himself and doesn’t seem to notice me. But he DOES notice. Most children are extremely observant, and see and pick up on things that we miss.
I have (embarrassingly) admitted to being a distracted parent (but one who is working on change). Do you have this same struggle, too? How do you handle it? Let me know in the comments below. Other readers may benefit from your approach!
Christian, wife, “hybrid” mama, I run the site All Behind A Smile to help others like me.
Leave a Reply