Now a little over two months old, my son has a hybrid mama. I am a stay-at-home-mom, in a sense, but I also continued working (from home) after he was born. Whether that makes me a “working” mama, or a stay-at-home-mom, I couldn’t quite decide.. especially since I have a very flexible schedule – therefore, “hybrid” mama it is.
We have been blessed as a family to be able to live off of my husband’s income, even with the addition of a new baby and complicated circumstances. That ability means my job (working on All Behind A Smile) is not only not required, but most people don’t recognize it as a career choice.
With that being said, I get maybe two or three hours per week of (mostly) uninterrupted work time, where my mother-in-law takes our son to the store with her so I can get some of the most important tasks done.
Why Keep Working as a Hybrid Mama?
Being a hybrid mama is exhausting.
Not only is my work not recognized as “valid” (as it is a non-traditional job), but societal roles assume I’ll take care of our son (especially since I work from home), and not rely on anyone else for his care. (Unless we choose to pay for day care, which is a whole different topic entirely.)
I keep working because I LOVE my job. It’s not only my dream, it gives me a sense of purpose and accomplishment. Instead of surrounding myself with dirty diapers and bottles of formula and a fussy baby, I take time to care for my son, but also often ask for help with his care so that I can fulfill my desire to be more than a stay-at-home-mom (just not for me).
With that being said, however, I am still a primary caregiver – because I cannot entirely shrug off the idea that he is MY responsibility and no one else’s. It’s sad, because if my husband were to become a stay-at-home-dad, that would probably not change the strong sense of obligation. We have reliable child care in the form of a relative, and yet I cannot fully utilize this amazing gift because of the intense “mom guilt”.
Mom Guilt
Mom guilt is the pervasive little voice that intrudes when you should be working, or sleeping, or doing anything to care for yourself (for once) that says you aren’t doing enough. And unless you can ignore or overthrow that little tyrant voice, it keeps you from accomplishing much more than washing baby bottles and changing dirty diapers and cuddling that bundle of joy ALL DAY LONG.
I learned to love this stage of my son’s life – see Changing Your Mind About the Baby Stage – but loving babies and caring for your budding family is not the same as being fulfilled by the tasks required.
So, hybrid mama, I kept working because I wanted more than the role society placed me in – and yet still wanted a family. If the income wasn’t required for your family, why did you keep working? Let me know in the comments below.
Christian, wife, “hybrid” mama, I run the site All Behind A Smile to help others like me.
[…] to read more about why I kept working? Read Becoming a Hybrid Mama (and What It Is) to learn more about the crossover between working from home and being a stay at home mom. […]