Even before officially entering motherhood a few weeks back, life became absolute chaos. Doctors visits, last minute tasks, false labor alarms. It’s way beyond time to start restoring sanity to some of this tidal wave of unwashed dishes and dirty laundry and unfinished tasks.
Don’t misunderstand – this is a season with a newborn and it’s going to be a bit wild. There will be unfinished tasks. There will be unwashed dishes and dirty laundry. But regardless, it doesn’t need to be quite so out of control … so here’s the plan.
Restoring Sanity: The Plan
- Accept that it will not be perfect!! As hard as this is, having a newborn is a difficult season and no one expects perfection.
- Realize I need help and cannot do this alone – accept help when and where (reasonably) offered.
- Prioritize!! Set a goal for each day and be content with just that goal happening. If all that happens is the dishes are washed, it’s a win!
Although I am particularly blessed to live with my amazing mother-in-law who is more than willing to help with my newborn son, there is still so much to do that often (lately) goes unfinished.
Part of that is from sheer exhaustion.
My husband and his mom alternate nights of shifts with our son, but I am up each night every time he wails because, well, breastfeeding is a thing. We are all sleep deprived. (I currently do not produce enough to feed my son alone, so we supplement and my husband or mother-in-law feed him after I do.)
Accepting Help
With all of that being said, just accepting that bit of help is so difficult. Believing it’s my responsibility and mine alone to meet my son’s every need has me burning the candle at both ends – and every area of life is suffering.
I cannot emphasize enough, you do not have to be superwoman. I do not have to be superwoman. People offer help for a reason – especially those experienced mamas who have been in this season and know what we are going through. As hard as it is, (preaching to the choir here) accept reasonable help when offered. It is NOT shameful to accept help!
Note: I realize there are people who do not have help as readily available. In those situations, it truly is a major case of prioritize and let the rest slide until things (hopefully) settle a bit.. which, truly, could be awhile.
A Note on Prioritizing
Prioritizing isn’t easy. It means letting things slide that you probably would rather not “let slide”. But, mama, you are important. Your sanity is important, and your sleep (limited though it may be right now) is important, too.
Pick one or two things a day (or week, depending) and let everything else go. It will happen, mama. For now, the dishes can wait while you get some sweet baby cuddles. The laundry can sit while you get some rest. And if it means using formula so someone else can give you a break, that’s okay, too. Prioritizing looks different for everyone, but it means that what really matters to you is more feasible in this chaotic season of life.
Still trying to keep a routine? See When Your Routines are Thrown Off Kilter for a few more tips.
If you are in the restoring sanity phase like I am, how are you managing? Are these tips helpful to you? Let me know in the comments below.
Christian, wife, “hybrid” mama, I run the site All Behind A Smile to help others like me.
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